Ika Chairiyani, Iswandini Agustin

Beyond the Score: A Personal Journey of Language Learning and Identity in IELTS Preparation

Introduction

Beyond the score: a personal journey of language learning and identity in ielts preparation. Explore a personal autoethnography on language learning and identity formation during IELTS preparation. Uncover the emotional struggles and psychological challenges of standardized testing and linguistic identity.

Abstract

This autoethnography study examines the author's experiences in language learning and identity formation as related to IELTS preparation. As an English teacher, the author faces the unexpected distance between teaching skill and ability in the usage of language and emphasizes the layered nature of linguistic proficiency. Through a critical examination of her own IELTS learning experience, the author reveals the emotional and psychological struggles of navigating standardized testing, including feelings of overwhelm and inadequacy. Through familiarity with IELTS materials and with taking the IELTS test, the author undertakes a self-revelatory adventure, in which a discourse between language learning, identity, and academic expectation emerges. This reflective narrative presents a complex explanation of the personal psycho-social process behind language acquisition and therefore, the reader is led beyond the score to a set of complex interactions of personal development, self-perception, and identity an academic sense. The findings emphasize the importance of self-regulated learning, social engagement, and cognitive strategies in shaping one's academic and linguistic identity.

Review

This autoethnographic study, "Beyond the Score: A Personal Journey of Language Learning and Identity in IELTS Preparation," offers a compelling and deeply personal exploration of the author's experience navigating the IELTS examination as an English teacher. The abstract clearly articulates the central premise: an examination of the intricate relationship between language learning, identity formation, and the pressures of standardized testing. By situating herself as both an educator and a test-taker, the author promises a unique perspective on the unexpected disjuncture between teaching proficiency and personal linguistic usage, framing the IELTS journey as a "self-revelatory adventure" that unveils the emotional and psychological complexities inherent in such an undertaking. The strength of this proposed work lies in its autoethnographic methodology, which is particularly well-suited to illuminate the subjective, layered, and often emotionally charged aspects of language acquisition and assessment. The abstract highlights critical themes such as feelings of "overwhelm and inadequacy," which resonate with countless test-takers, yet are rarely explored with such personal depth in academic discourse. The concept of linguistic proficiency as a "layered nature" and the "discourse between language learning, identity, and academic expectation" are particularly insightful, moving beyond a simplistic view of language ability to embrace its holistic psycho-social dimensions. This reflective narrative promises to offer a nuanced explanation of personal development, self-perception, and the formation of academic identity in a high-stakes testing environment. The findings, which emphasize the importance of self-regulated learning, social engagement, and cognitive strategies, suggest significant implications not only for individuals preparing for exams like IELTS but also for language educators and test developers. This paper has the potential to humanize the experience of standardized testing, offering valuable insights into the profound personal transformations that can occur during the process. Ultimately, "Beyond the Score" appears poised to make a significant contribution to the fields of applied linguistics, language pedagogy, and educational psychology by providing a rich, evocative account that transcends mere performance metrics to explore the intricate tapestry of identity woven through the language learning journey.

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